December 1 2008....

Long have I since posted my nonsense here. Too long, that patience of my beloved readers waiting for the next post has perhaps withered away. To any of those still patiently waiting with their unfading eagerness for the next post, my sincerest apology and utmost gratitude. Time has consumed me in the reality world. True as wisdom says, time will never suffice for the gratification of men's desire. 

A month yet to go for the dawn of another year. After that, 2008 shall forever be bygone. Events shall reside with history. Memories shall be kept, lessons shall be learnt lest darkness gloom again. 

December 1, 2008; a date I shall remember. An eternal farewell bid to my Professor, whom until this moment, I can still sense him wandering around, poking waists out of no reason save fun. What comes as a shocking news, I must absorb it as fate at work, sealing the time that he must meet the Creator. 

Twice in a matter of one month, news of such nature is really taking its toll.  Both being in the form I have never faced before, really makes me ponder on the purpose of my very being. No comfort seems soothing enough to pull me out from these thoughts. Partly, I am grateful that I see it this way. But otherwise, I get unbearable moments. 

Nevertheless, not a single beat of our hearts passes by without teaching us something. Look through those beatings, and seek the lesson it ought to deliver. 

May the dawn of hijrah 1430 and 2009 A.D brings brighter life to all...

- I am flawed, dented, dumb and useless; but that "one-will" shall lead me ahead- 

Twinge.....

Life... filled with choices. Good choices, Bad choices. Easy said than done huh. Not always in life choices are definite. At first glance, it's hardly differentiable. There would be this nuance that can easily escape one's consideration. Yeap, It's there making the difference between good and bad. But it conceals itself so perfectly that it won't appear unless you have made that choice. It is as if choices appear to you wrapped neatly, mostly with good expectations (who would ever consider a choice that is already bad in the first place, right?) , but whether the content of that wrapping is good or bad for you, you can't say unless it has been unraveled. But one thing definite is, you have to make that choice. You must proceed. Choosing is not a choice, it is certain.

And the outcome wouldn't be instantly obvious. It propagates with time and response. It may add colors to your days, it may fulfill your dreams. But it may also sore your days, and send you plummeting down the deepest ground. All the same, it came from the choice you made, expecting something good would pop out of it. Yet again, choosing is not a choice, it is a must.

That's not all. Upon unveiling one choice, you'll be facing another realm of choices to pick from, and yet another realm after that, and another, and another.....It's an endless network of choices that keeps on dragging you into streams of choices within the choice you made before. And before you know it, it has brought you deep into this complex maze filled with doors. If you are lucky enough, you may retreat from a choice you made and pick another. But how often do we get to do that? Now multiply all the choices and proportionate it with the possible consequences that may arise from each choices made. Severe? Complicated? Giving up from making choices? Remember, making a choice is not a choice, it is definite....

And I have made a choice... For now, twinges are sticking to me like gooey slimes tainting . Can I take it back, and return to where I was before? Only time can decide now. Only He knows. Either heal or swell, these twinges.....